Last night I watched the first half of The Elephant Man. Definitely worth seeing. It’s about a man who struggled with a horrible deformity. His head is bulbous and misshapen, his spine is twisted and bent, and he can’t walk without a cane.
In addition to practically changing my life, this movie made me feel much less sorry for the Phantom of the Opera. The guy gets one burn on the side of his face and suddenly he’s kidnapping ladies and setting booby traps for anyone who might catch a glimpse of his “awkward little problem.”
Honestly, after his emotional rants about how ugly he is, I expected something a little more…ugly. Maybe with half of a nose missing, or a gaping hole in his cheek. But when he removed his mask – disabling the invisible force field that made his half-bald head look like it was full of hair – his face only looked sunburned and scabby. He probably just stayed out in the sun for too long and felt self-conscious. Sheesh, what a diva. At this rate, men will be hiding in the basements of opera houses because they have unibrows or cut their ears while shaving.
I also felt much better about the zit on my chin. Hold on, I need to cancel my order to the mask store.
They cancelled most of my order, but they already started on the custom purple feathered cornucopia mask, so I guess I could keep it just in case my face is ever severely sunburned.
Advice of the day: Your zit-faced neighbor is not an animal! Your zit-faced neighbor is a human being!