Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's not Swearing if You're using it Correctly

I recently re-watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame, a family-friendly Disney movie about a perverted priest who is obsessed with a sexy gypsy.  Some fantastic writers read the Victor Hugo classic and thought, “Hey, this would make a great movie for kids!”  The carnal themes are carefully hidden and the movie is a delight for both young and old, with the added benefit of introducing some fascinating topics for the budding pre-pubescent to discuss with loving parents. 

Looking back, I’m not sure how the less-than-honorable intentions of the priest completely eluded me.  I just thought he loved Esmeralda a lot.  I can’t help but wonder how I interpreted some of the phrases in the movie.  I have a few guesses:

Original line:  Why I see her dancing there, why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul

My interpretation:  She is a nice, pretty girl.  He likes her lots.

Original line:  Like fire, hellfire, this fire in my skin.  This burning desire is turning me to sin.

My interpretation:  Wow, that fireplace he’s standing next to is probably really hot.  Did he say it’s burning his skin?

Original line:  And let her taste the fires of hell, or else let her be mine and mine alone.

My interpretation:  Something about tasting… he probably wants her to eat some dinner with him because he loves her.

Original line:  Now gypsy, it's your turn.  Choose me or your pyre.

My interpretation:  What’s a pyre?  It’s probably a French word for “papa” or something.  He probably wants her to marry him, which means she’ll have to choose between him and her dad. 

Original line:  I’ll find her.  I’ll find her if I have to burn down all of Paris.

My interpretation:  I can fit ten macaroni noodles in my nose!  What did he say about Paris?

I can still fit ten macaroni noodles in my nose, by the way. 


  1. I CAN RELATE TO THIS POST SO WELL. Also, this made me guffaw many times. Thank you for the copious amounts of laughter

  2. Hold on, hold on! You mean to say that you somehow figured out that your interpretation may be incomplete!?! Where is my innocent, sheltered baby girl? That's it! You're a'movin back home to mommy!

  3. no wonder my mom wouldn't let me watch that movie!