Monday, October 31, 2011

My Keyboard was Probably Lost or Something

I always feel conflicted about my font.  Does Calibri draw people in?  Is Times New Roman dismissed as cliché?  Is Ariel too stand-offish?  I think I need my own personal font.  I’ll have to call the font-designer hotline (I understand they’re like superheroes only much cooler and with better facial hair). 

I’m pretty sure my font is the only reason I slack off with writing and has nothing to do with my laziness or my love of youtube movies (I found two more to watch today).  Maybe I could design my own font:

I feel more professional already!  Now I just need black shoe polish and a monkey and the world will finally see me as a true professional.  Monkeys aren’t usually professional but this one would be because it would be a highly intelligent monkey-servant.  It would be trained to make beds and deep-fried Twinkies.  I could use me one of those right now…  In fact, I really think it’s necessary to my health and well-being.  There are some dark, scary caves of laziness that only a warm, plump Twinkie could tempt me out of.  I’ll have to go in search of one immediately.  There’s bound to be a state fair in driving distance.  I’ll try the state of Verdad first.*

*I should note that Verdad is not a real state but one that I made up.  It exists somewhere between Nevada and my house, and it is always having a state fair.