Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Learned How to Insert Pictures All by Myself!!!!

You know what I hate?  When I’m approximately twenty feet away from the door and some polite person decides to hold it for me anyway.  I break into a sprint and gasp out a thank you while he checks his watch and looks over his shoulder a couple hundred times.  Now he’s probably late to a study group session and I’m left feeling responsible for not running fast enough.  Not cool.
So I took this survey online because it said it was going to save the Bengal tigers.  Tigers are cute, right?  I mean, who doesn’t like the color orange?  If you don’t like the color orange, please put your face close to the screen.  The intense pain you feel on your face was me sending you a cyber-slap, a new technique invented by Skor Wadaras designed to take cyber-bullying to a physical level.  But now they want me to take more surveys.  They keep emailing me links and saying that I could save entire species at the click of a button.  As if I have time for that.  I barely have time to delete all the junk they are sending, let alone spare a few seconds to save the planet.  Endangered animals are so selfish. 
I mean, look at this koala.  It’s laughing at me with its eyes, I can tell.  Do we really need a bunch of koalas hanging out on the planet doing whatever it is koalas do?  I mean, what have they ever done for us?  Are they even tasty?
And I’m not sure why they even need protection.  I mean , look at this one:
They’re making babies right now!  Right now, as we speak!  They can even make more than one baby at a time:
So we probably need to worry more about koala overpopulation than anything else. 
But as far as whether or not koalas taste good, I did manage to find an advertisement subtly implying that koalas taste like ham.

Koalas: They are Baisically Pigs that Live in Trees

I’m thinking of getting a couple of sandwiches imported from the local koala farm.  I hear they raise the koalas as their own children until they are old enough to be butchered, roasted, and made into delicious cold cuts.

"This one already smells like bacon" says Lucy McBigglips

Just looking at that picture made me hungry, and all I have to eat is baloney and potato chips.  I'm probably going to make a baloney and potato chip sandwich. 

 And I wonder why my plasma has too much fat in it to donate...

No comments:

Post a Comment