There are so many things I could blog about right now, and I don’t know where on earth to start.
For instance, I could blog about how string cheese was on sale today. I bought seven (lucky number) and I plan on making them all into a fleet of little canoes before I eat them. They are much more delicious in canoe form. But first I will need to acquire the necessary tools to make the canoes. I already have teeth and fingers, but I would like to have a toothpick to carve my name on the sides so my roommate doesn’t think they are hers and eats them herself. But the only place I know that has toothpicks is Tucanos, so I will have to save up enough money to buy a meal there before I can have my toothpick. Until then my string cheese will stay in their wrappers like little logs cut from trees made of delicious fake cheese.
While buying cheese was probably the most exciting part of my day, it was not the only part worth mentioning. I went to the international theater again, but I left it as uncultured as ever. Apparently the labels on my new black turtleneck and beret that advertised they would make the wearer more cultured were exaggerating slightly. I’ll be returning them tomorrow and I expect a full refund and a sincere apology from the sales clerk.
The most boring part of my day was when I arrived to a class half an hour early and was forced to pretend to read my textbook while I waited. I couldn’t actually read my textbook because textbooks are boring and they suck the happiness out of you like my brother sucks the filling out of my Twinkies. Eventually I remembered that I have Tetris on my phone, and I settled down to playing the only sport I show any aptitude in. This passed the time quite nicely, and before I knew it I was sitting in class and creating some wonderful doodle specimens in my doodle notebook. I think I’ll have that notebook published. I’ll call it, “Sara’s Encyclopedia of Under-Appreciated Doodles.” It’ll fly off the shelves.
And now I have to wash my face before my roommate comes back and catches me using her nice face-cloth. Advice of the day: If life gives you empty Twinkies, try filling them with Jr. Mints.