I love sleep, but sleep is very, very bad for me. I know it is because I got around nine hours of sleep last night and I’m more exhausted than ever. Sleep is a horrible drug, like marijuana or Chap Stick. I can never get enough; it’s always more, more, more. I am a sleep junkie.
It took me a while to admit I have a problem. I used to think I wasn’t dependent on sleep; that I could quit anytime. Now I realize that without sleep, I feel like a zombie. I start mumbling gibberish to people that don’t exist. Simple activities I used to enjoy tire me out. I wander around campus, listless and unfocused, unable to complete the simplest of tasks. Sleep is my drug.
The other day I tried to quit cold turkey, and I started having serious withdrawals. My hands shook uncontrollably and I had a pounding headache that no amount of Ibuprofen would subdue. I tried so hard to stay on the wagon, but by the end of the second day I was passed out on a park bench. I woke up much later feeling defeated. I’ve tried to quit several times since then, but my efforts produced nothing but failure.
Clearly, my problem is beyond self-correction. I need professional help. I’ve been seriously considering checking into a rehab clinic. I searched for a clinic that specializes in sleep addictions online, but I haven’t found any so far. I tried talking to a counselor, but he was just as addicted as I am. He actually admitted to me that he gets at least seven hours of sleep every night. His candid attitude shocked me, and I was left twisting in the wind, unsure of where to turn.
And now I’m craving sleep again. But I will resist. I will break this addiction even if it kills me. I’m just going to lie in my bed and read a book or maybe close my eyes and meditate (I think of meditation as a nicotine patch for sleeping). I’m sure I’ll manage to stay awake this time. Probably.